We start with 100% beef jerky, and SEAR your contact information into it with a 150 WATT CO2 LASER.I'm secretly a fan of jerky and biltong but I have only ever eaten the nasty stuff they sometimes sell in Sainsbury's. To make it at home you would normally need an expensive dehydrator or, if you live in the wild west, the hot dessert sun.
Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients:
MEAT AND LASERS.
Unlike other business cards, MEAT CARDS will retain value after the econopocalypse. Hoard and barter your calorie-rich, life-sustaining cards.
However I have found some instructions that suggest you can use your oven on very low:
This recipe goes into some more detail on marinade:
If you are really keen there are even some guides on how to build your own food dehydrator.
This one looks quite involved:
And this is the more amateur option:
Finally, this guy has made a jerky oven out of an old monitor: